Christmas

It's only a day before Christmas really hits the United States. For many, it's a time of celebration and togetherness with their loved ones. For some, it's a bitter, lonely day that celebrates nothing but the salt of loneliness rubbed into an old wound.

Perhaps for me, it's a time when I can tell myself that I don't have to do anything; the world is on hold on this merry, melancholy day. Of course, over here there will be plenty of cooking to do as I would like to prevent starvation! Classes are obviously over, and the terror of final papers is long past (only a few days really). I find myself just puttering about the house, making adjustments to this or that, enjoying my free time. It's a refreshing experience that helps reset the mind for the coming new year.

I've recently been given the privilege to take care of a cute, quirky, cranky bearded dragon called Megadeth. Some people may remember that that name is a band, and others will not really care. It's a rather fitting name in a way, and the time I spend with this little lizard has been fairly enjoyable - fun even. I'd never have known that lizards could ever be so interesting, especially compared to dogs! Still, Megadeth seems to exude a certain charm that has bespelled me. Sometimes I find myself watching him just perch there on his little Mayan ziggurat, staring almost blankly at nothing. He just sits there for hours, basking in the artificial sunlight like some Mayan priest. His crickets give me no end of laughter, climbing to the top of the ziggurat and being eaten. They remind me of sacrificial lambs being brought to the slaughter. Good fun really.

Somehow this little guy has a personality that comes from continued exposure. Online it is said that bearded dragons are calm and trusting creatures, somewhat slow but agile at the same time. There was once he pretty much knocked his head on the glass repeatedly as I readied his food. Good times.

The half-year that I've been back from Malaysia have seen like an eternity. Lots of things happen here, and many of them far more than interesting.

Long days... even longer nights.

A thrilling conclusion to a semester I must say.



Studying for finals is a new experience... considering how much I've been studying. I think I have studied more this semester than the rest of my life combined twice over. 5 hour study streaks are a new if not inevitable experience for me.



I have found the miracle of Red Bull... in the US this seemingly innocuous drink is a real kick in the balls that wakes people up. You have not had Red Bull till you've had it in the States. There's also this drink called 6-hour Power which really is... 6-hour power. Drinking one of those little bottles of energy keeps you up and going for quite some time!



As you might imagine, finals are just around the corner... tomorrow really (oh crap!). I should be studying, but of course procrastinating is fun too! (even though the exam is in... 12 hours?).

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It's been a fairly interesting 2009 for me so far. Spending a year away from home is an experience that I would like to never repeat again. All the food I'm missing is going to kill me someday. I tide myself over with homemade concoctions of bakuteh (only once so far), chicken rice (oh the horror of cleaning the rice cooker...), and nasi lemak (malay girls for friends = win), but nothing will beat fulfilling a craving for food by driving 10 minutes. I'm sure you'll see me out at night more often than before!

Nothing compares to missing the people that I was so used to seeing back home though. Life-long friends always meet up as if there was never a pause between seeing each other. I think I've been pretty lucky in getting more of those friends here in the States.

Pretty little mistakes...

It's been such a long time since I posted. I don't suppose anyone really misses my little blog anyway ;).

Not a very eventful two months. Had a trip here and there, enjoyed life as any college student should. I finished reading a book called "Pretty Little Mistakes" awhile back, which was very interesting and thoughtful. You go through the book much like a game book: Make a decision, move on to the next page, find out the ending. The decisions you make in life might see you ending up as a drug dealer, a rape victim, or even a butterfly farmer.

Just like the book, our decisions will determine the course of our lives, except we make decisions all the time. Shall we go left or right? Up or down? Arts or Sciences? Chicken or beef? Coke or Pepsi? Sometimes the smallest decision could change our life forever. Perhaps, for once, instead of skipping this class we find an inspiration, an idol, a dream that we want to live up to. Perhaps, maybe, we'll go on a random car ride and end up in the hospital. Perhaps, just for fun, we'll start hanging out with that lonely-looking Asian kid and someday be best friends with the wealthiest man in the world.

Perhaps, just because, we'll compliment someone on their hair and save them from suicide.

There are so many decisions in life. Unlike the book, we can't turn the pages back and see "what if?". We just have to accept that things happen, and we move on. It's a shame that we can't, but I guess it makes things for the better. Life is unpredictable, you might as well be as random as you can.

Mankind always wonders what life would be like if we always made the best decisions. Life's greatest joys and worst tragedies come from the strangest of places and the most far-off reasons.

Why worry? Life is worth living for, always.

My footsteps echo on the walls of the little library beside me. The pavement flows smoothly beneath my feet. I look around, and nobody is there. Just trees, and the burble of a small stream.

It's pretty cold out, I think, but I feel warm.

As I pass the various campus buildings, I see few people on the road. Perhaps it is the late hour, perhaps people are just at home... doing the things people do at night ;). I should be one of those people, but I guess I'm just too far away. It does not sadden me, really. I am a little envious, and not a bit wistful, but what can I do eh? At least I enjoyed the day with a good meal (which had rather good service), and a good time with a friend.

Another day, another memory to store in the reel of film that is life. I feel satisfied with the meal that I had, and the interesting conversations that I listen to. Sitting in a booth in the restaurant, I look around and wonder... which of these couples will last? Love is frequently a fickle thing, even though my friend says it's supposed to be a simple thing.

"Love is simple. You know you have it when you do."

I miss home, but I'm not sad.

I know I have it.

Hm.

I miss home. I miss the people, the food, the atmosphere (minus the constant danger of roads ;)). I miss the little lady I left there, who's still (impatiently) waiting for me. Hehe.

When I'm home I'll miss the freedom, the free time, the privacy, the people, the food, the atmosphere. I'll miss the times of living free, pretty much. I'll miss the studying, wouldn't you know it.

Life is such a contradiction isn't it?
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So I just realized that my study options are going to change by quite a bit. I'm just waiting to see how my parents will want me to go one place or another. It's between economics or something in public affairs, which sounds kind of intersting to me. Decisions, decisions.

I always liked learning about the "big picture". It's always nice to see how everything works, and in the end correct mistakes that happen in the system. Perhaps I am a born leader deeeeep inside. Might account for my loud, obnoxious shouty voice and chilling demeanor... hmm...