The stuff of heroes...

America could be very well known for its belief in freedom: Freedom of speech, freedom to believe, freedom to do anything which is not against the law. Its value on the right to live free is almost legendary by now. What more could be said of this love of freedom than the idea of a super hero?

The greatest and most noble of people who sacrifice themselves to save the day! They battle foes and super villains, keeping the world safe for us puny mortals. Songs have been sung, comics have been drawn, and movies have been made for these mighty masters of the universe. At the end of a long day, after hours of frustrating math, I saw my first All-American Superhero...

American Bubble Wrap Man.

'Greetings citizen!'

I startled at such a formal hello. I waved awkwardly as the supreme image of a man fully dressed in red and blue colored bubble wrap walked up towards me.

'Have you seen any super villains about tonight?' he cheerfully asked.

Jeez, this guy even has the accent of a superhero down. I replied no, overawed by his presence. Wreathed in the finest blue and red bubble wrap, with a long cape of the flag of America, he wielded a mighty rubber hammer which would smite his foes with a squeak. As I walked on, he randomly greeted more people and asked the same question.

Later on, I overheard him reveal one of his greatest weaknesses. So bold! It was as if he were inviting evil villains to try using his weakness, but he would just overcome it with a swing of his mighty rubber hammer.

'Trees and wind are my only weakness!' he cried out.

He tried to chop down the tree with a mighty swing of his hammer. It whistled with deadly accuracy and bounced off the trunk.

'Damn you foliage! Damn youuuu!'

I walked on into the night, knowing that - at least for tonight - I would be just a little safer with a great man like him walking around. I felt at peace, because the world was being watched over by such people as American Bubble Wrap Man.

I laughed my ass off when I got far enough.

On cooking, and life.

I just used my rice cooker for the first time!

...and I failed.

Pfft. I thought I'd just put 1/4 of a cup of rice just for me, with like 2 big cups of water. It looked right, but apparantly I was wrong. First timer, yes, but still. All I got was one measly scoop of rice. 1. ONE. Uno. Satu. Yi. Yat. That's like 6 table spoons worth. Probably less. To top it all off, the rice cooker kept bubbling over. Probably because of the huge amount of water I put... mmm... and the rice was all squishy; not so bad, but expected rice instead of porridge.

I fried up a mean helping of Spam though. It was freaking nice, that. Spam. Mmmm... pork. Just like home ;). I used way too much oil though. I had to pour the oil back into a little tupperware to save it for the next time... economical, you know.
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It's a dull life here in IUB so far. Went to a party to meet some people, was a small birthday and I drank a little too much. Yay for me. I did get to enjoy a bit of the night life here, and I must admit that it is really cool... very different from Malaysia's clubs. Here it's more like house party galore.
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The nights here are just beautiful though... I can see the stars through clear skies, and the full moon shines cheerily from its lofty seat. On the walks home at night, I stop and look up, staring at the sky. The clouds zip past as the wind blows them past the white surface of the moon. Stars are twinkling pretty brightly, saying hello to the world down below. All you can hear is the breeze amongst the barren trees (it is winter). I wonder how it'd be like when the leaves are out again...

... and I dash right home, because it's freaking cold. So much for enjoying my time with nature.
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Today my little lady finally got her internet!!!1111oneoneoneexclamationmark. I felt so happy, being able to chat with her again... wonderful joy.

I shall not make you turn your eyes away in disgust as I enjoy my source of happiness.

But you already read it. Muahahaahhahaha.

How are you doin'?

Grey Goose... woo!

Hello everyone! I've been drinking a bit, so my fingers feel so free-flowish and fun. I'm not high, just a little tipsy. Today was a pretty fun day, though I do feel a little guilty from spending so much money again:

I woke up at 9.30 to get ready to go out with my Malaysian friends to Whitehall and Wal-Mart. It was a really cold morning, what with -15 celsius and chilling winds. I waited for Raof, and got a sandwich to eat on the way. Eating with my bare fingers without a hat was my first mistake. It. Was. Cold. Really. I couldn't feel my ears for 15 minutes after I put my hat on.

We took a cab to a place called Campus Auto Rental, and rented a car for about two days. A good decision! The car was $10 a person, with insurance, so it was a pretty decent deal. Considering the distance we traveled. All the cars here are at least 2.0. AT LEAST. A 2.0 in America is like a 3.5 in Malaysia: Extremely rare. Normally the cars here are 3.0 liter engines. How freaking awesome is that? You get to drive a really fast car for cheap! Boo to Malaysia's boring old Kancils. The car we got was like worth $3000. RM10,000. What the hell, you can get a 2.4 car for the downpayment of a Malaysian car.

We first went to Wal-Mart, one of the superstores of the United States. I bought lots of stuff worth about $250. RM800 in one day, wow! Well that wouldn't be the end of it; at least I bought nice stuff, like a rice cooker, speakers (music!), tupperware, a fridge... I feel so independant! Hahah.

I bought 2 pairs of shoes in Whitehall after that. Two pairs of beeeutiful Nike shoes. One for basketball, and one for cross-training. I like playing basketball very much, and I was a bit ashamed of myself for playing barefoot in a recent match at the recreation center. Yes, I was freaking barefoot while in a nice shiny indoor court. I just had to buy them. Really.

After that, we went to celebrate another Malaysian's birthday. A girl named Kaphana. During that time, I guess I made new Malaysian friends by talking more (yay for me!). We had dinner at a restaurant called Red Lobster. The food was pretty good, though expensive. The dish I especially loved was the Tequila-thingy Shrimp. God those were so awesome. Although they're not as good as butter prawns in Malaysia, but it was pretty close.

After dinner, we went to the Big Red liquor store to buy booze for the birthday girl's party. Being 21, I was the one sent to brave the world of alcohol. Have I told you of the wonders of America? The alcohol store here is big. B-I-G. There is alcohol everywhere, for prices lower than even Langkawi. W T F. Wonder! I bought some Grey Goose for myself, and a bottle of Absolut Citron for the birthday girl, awesome shit that.

We went to her house to have a nice conversation as well as give her a cake. It was pretty fun! Gave her a nice decorated glass box with the bottle of Vodka in it. WOW. So we chatted, ate and drank a little (really little). I found a new favourite! Bacardi Apple. That stuff is really nice to me, because I like apple. Anyway, we chatted and all that and enjoyed some interesting conversation.

At 12AM we got up, and brought a cake to her. She was so shocked (and would later thank us for the great surprise; it was the best birthday she ever had) that she had a really big smile. Later, we sprayed her with whipped cream, and all of us got some in turn.

I shall stop typing because all of you think I'm super high. I'm not. -_-.

Have a good day!

The snow...

... is falling again. I just got back from Sarvveen's house, and the snow was actually really pretty. Glittering roads and the night-scene background just fit so nicely, black and white. I saw cars covered in snow and it was a very peaceful environment. And it really wasn't all that cold...

Because I just took a sip of a new high: Bacardi 151 degrees. Christ that shit is powerful stuff. It's 75.5% alcohol, and it evaporated in my mouth and went through my nose. I still feel it burning inside. Wow. Awesome stuff, but I can't possibly take that neat or I'd probably die. It was a very fun experience. I was actually warm in sub-zero temperatures. What the hell?

Alcohol has its uses. ^_^

Some interesting observations...

Another day of snow... whoopeee. Freaking white stuff isn't exactly cocaine falling from the sky. Remember my smoking shoes? Yeah. It's going to be that cold again. Wonderful.

About the topic: The toilets here... they are interesting. They flush as if they can suck down baby heads with ease. They are so loud they sound like a vacuum cleaner. The shit-suckers here are louder than a freakin' airplane toilet. That is how violent the toilets here are. I got shocked the first time I flushed. Then I wondered: 'Maybe the shit here is so big they need powerful suction.'

Not a pretty thought.

So yes, another week of classes are here. Haven't really made new friends, though I talk a liiiiitle bit more than I am used to (read: one extra sentence a conversation! Yay me!). I have tried the Sports and Recreation Center (whatever the hell you call it) here. Weight training, sports, an indoor pool and track, whatever you want it's there. And it's all included in my semester fees. 2 hours a day of exercising and I'll come back more manly than you can remember me! =p

The classes here seem easy enough... seem. Don't think the hectic panicking will start too soon (I hope). My room's as messy as I want it to be, praise be to my godlike indifference. I'm messing around on my blog when I should be completing assignments... hmm... not a good sign.

Oh well!

I'm 21...! part 2

It's interesting to see how removed I am from most of life. I've never really felt involved in much. I'm always the guy who's watching from afar, the one who wants in but no one really wants him in. Events may happen, and all I feel is indifference. I don't feel the passion others feel. I don't feel connected to the event. I give really decent advice, really. I have some experience in certain matters. No one really consults me though.

I feel left out.

Perhaps this is life's way of making it fair for all of us: I live a relatively uneventful life, a very good one at that. The trade-off is that the life I live is... uneventful. There are no major fights that happen to me, no break-ups and tearful separations (amen to that), no bitching at each other in anger. I don't even... understand (?) how people can become so heated in a simple conversation. A few times in my life, people have fought around me, and all I can feel is just an observant curiousity.

I walk amongst people, alone and unnoticed. I listen in on people's conversations, primarily because they don't care who can hear them. It's really interesting to hear things candidly. However, it sort of points out that I am the one outside listening in. The party's inside and it is rowdy. Things are happening, but I'm just looking through the window. Why is it that way?
Perhaps, as I said, this is life's way of making a balance of people: There are those who are living totally fucked up, packed-with-events lives; and there are those who live uneventful lives which are fulfilling but slow.

In the end, I think my life suits me just fine. I wouldn't give up my great family, my wonderful friends, and my loving little lady for excitement.

What would you prefer?

I'm 21...!

... And no one seems to care. =(. This is like the most uneventful birthday I have ever had. Kind of sad, but what could I expect in a foreign country eh? Maybe tomorrow I'll get smashed in a bar or something... but with who? Bleh.

As I walked home today, the stars were shining pretty brightly in the clear skies. Bloomington has this peaceful feeling to it, where nothing really happens (because nothing *ever* happens so far). I walk and walk, thinking. Suddenly, a question occurs to me:

Have you ever dreamed of reaching for the stars? To touch those sparkling lights in the sky? I expanded on this metaphor. Have you ever dreamed of being something? Anything? Remember those times in elementary school or high school, where the teachers asked 'What would you want to be?' You'd get a variety of responses like being a policeman, a doctor, a lawyer, a fire-fighter, a businessman. Everyone has at one point talked about their dream, their goal, their future.

It struck me as extremely sad that I've never truly had a dream. I've never thought of the stars as lofty goals I want to reach for; I've never thought of stars as new heights to achieve. Even as a kid, I looked up and appreciated the view of twinkling lights. I never thought of them as a physical manifestation of how far I should go for. I never really had a goal in life at all; never thought of being a policeman, never thought of protecting the country, never thought of my future much.

As I walked, I opened up my view more: I've never had the need nor the inclination to look for god. I am sometimes even vehemently against the notion of God. My mom can attest to this, with all the skid marks on the floor from dragging me to this religion and that. I've never felt the presence of God in life, never felt an external power exerting its will over me. Maybe those who feel God have some sort of direction in life? I wouldn't know.

Many people I know have aspirations they are striving to: My brother wants to be a great chef (and he's getting there). My friend Cat wants to become a programmer (or something like that). My mother wants to 'enrich the world with her presence' (and she tries). My dad wants to provide water to the world (a good plan). My friend WP has the interest and ability to go into graphics design (or something to do with drawing). Other friends are pointed arrow-straight to the careers that they are thinking of. What the hell are my goals? What do I want to do?

I don't know.

Does this reflect on how my life is like? On what my perspective of life is? Because all I can think of is the end-destination I want: A house, a car, a dog, a wife and at least two kids, enough money to eat good food once a week. How many of us have goals like that? How many decide early on that one will get married, have kids and just settle down? How fucking ancient-cave-man thinking is that?

Perhaps my go-with-the-flow-slow-slow made me this way. Perhaps I'm just lazy. What can I do to make my mark in this world? Who knows. Maybe I'll just be some nameless worker slugging it out to make my family happy. Maybe.

What do you aspire to be?
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Different times.

Whew. A good day has gone by. Finished my classes with little mishap, and went to an InterVarsity (IV) thing. It's sort of a Christian get-together worship kinda thing... I went for the people, not to find God ;).

It was interesting, met some new people and talked to a few of them. Had a silly little photo-scavenger hunt. It's still really tough for me to talk to strangers. I can't seem to find anything to talk about, which is really annoying. I hope in time I will come to talk more and make myself a little more interesting.
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What's the best feeling in life? Love? Happiness? Joy? Power? Friendship? Acceptance, that's what I think. When you can accept that things are 'like that', you find that you become content with life. Once you're content, you can see those things in a more removed light. I know I'm clumsy, so if I trip and fall, I laugh at myself. Why get embarrassed? Things like this happens. That's the way life is.

Can you accept yourself for who you are?
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I miss home. I miss my friends, my family, my bed, my blanket, my bolster (they don't have it here!), my dog (I see lotsa dogs around here), my life, the food, and especially my little lady. She's a brave little soul, patiently slugging it out with life while I'm away. Everything else can take care of themselves. Friends and family have their own life. My dog is taken care of because he's cute and naughty. But her... I'm just worried as any good man would be worried about his partner.

One gets to know another pretty well when enough time has passes. One will always remember the little things that one can/must watch over for the other. Is she eating well? Is she going out to enjoy herself once in awhile? Is she getting along okay? Everytime I see the silver glint of the ring on my finger, I am reminded of my motivation to do things quickly and come home, to do well and do it quickly to come home proud.
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I haven't really made any friends here. It's a whole new place, and I just can't help but feel that the people I talk to (most of them) don't really want to talk back. Might just be me, or the culture, but it doesn't help one bit knowing that. Back home, strangers become friends really quickly, or so I like to belive. Here... well, maybe it's just too soon.

I'm just a naive little guy lost in the big, big world.

Indiana...

First day of classes! Hmm... everything seems okay so far. Haven't really made any friends so far, since I don't know what to say. I'm not a man of small talk, it seems.

The buses here are pretty cool. None of the clanking and grinding of Malaysia's smoke-spewing mechanical horrors. Everyone gets off nicely, and lines up to go in. Ah, wonders.

It's getting colder again. That sucks pretty bad. Meh. The natureland here is pretty nice. Lots of trees around, though there aren't any leaves left on them since it's still winter. I'm hopin for a really flowery spring to enjoy.

The fees to study here... ugh. I could buy a car with each semester's payments. I have to be here at least 4 semesters. What the hell?

A soul redeemed.

I helped someone see into the soul that is within them. I think I did. That soul is now more at peace with itself than before. It feels good to have done something like that. Talking and talking did make something go right, for once. I am glad.

Did Jesus feel the same way?

Semester's about to start! What an interesting and honestly a little bit exciting prospect that would be... meh? At least the weather's warming up pretty decently... ^^.

I have 5 classes to do this semester... not too much I guess, but it's near the limit! Should tax my brain beyond what I've ever done before... those Kelley Business School people sure do know how to convince a guy to study!

'We here at the Kelley Business School are very, very selective... we look for students with B averages and above. So if you get even one C, that would look very bad for you.'

My god. After hearing all of that, and looking and the freaking 10,000 USD tuition fee, I sort of freaked and promised myself I'd study... like a bitch. Parties I guess can wait for next time, once I'm free a bit and until I'm used to the workload... I will freaking ACE this semester! -_-

So I've settled pretty well into my dorm, up on the 10th floor with a pretty good view of Bloomiongton... nice little space to call home. I've got my handphone up and running, 812-360-9059 for anyone in the states, and +001-812-360-9059 for anyone else even remotely interested in calling me all the way over there :). Set up a bank account to give me money money...

All the stuff here is really expensive. Well, not all; storybooks are pretty cheap... like half the price of Malaysian books. Freaking Malaysian government... can't make books cheaper even though 'we want everyone to be fluent in English!'... pfft.

The connection speeds here are pretty goooooood... 450KBPS download speed owns you anyday Malaysia. Wahahahah!

I shall go out for dinner now... which is like 10 USD. =(. Buhbye!

AHHHH

This was supposed to be posted earlier... like 2 days ago? But the net wasn't working in my dorm. Apparantly it's working now!
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Went to see some places in IU, walked all over the bloody place (more on this later).

Well... I'm in my new dorm room people! My new 'home'. My own little 'crib'. Something I'll be staying in for at least 4 months. Yay for me? A quaint little affair, with a shared bathroom (god knows who just yet!) and a little closet of my own. A bed, two lights, a desk, a chest of drawers, up on the 10th floor. At least I get a scenic view ^^

Today was a pretty hectic day, what it being orientation day and all. Lots and lots of walking to do =(. Seriously, the campus is just too fucking huge. I have to walk 3 kilometers today. AT LEAST. The other day I walked with my dad to the College Mall... 3-4 miles of walking. That's like freaking 6 KILO-FUKIN-METERS. After that we had to walk back. And walk to eat. Walk to sleep. Walk to whatever. Goddamn.

Rushed to the Residence and P-somethingorother Service center (10 minutes of walking) to find out where I'd live for the semester... yes, you heard me.

I DIDNT HAVE A PLACE TO STAY. WEE FOR ME.

So it seems I applied for the wrong fucking semester. WHAT THE FUCK? At least I got a dorm downright quick. I'm still peeved at the annoyance caused.

I had another 15 minutes to get back to the hall, which was about oh, 15 fucking minutes of walking fast to reach my appointment time? Oh yes! The temperature outside was a nice, bone-warming 0 degrees. Farhenheit. That is -15 degrees Celsius muthafuckas! That's right! Air-cond fearing Leon is freaking walking through SNOWY and ICY and WINDY BLOOMINGTON INDIANA PEOPLE! WOOHOO. (cue Christmas tune: Let it snow let it snow let it snow... FUK THAT SHIT).

So anyway, orientation: Had to listen to these people talk about the new educational experience I was about to embark on. Lots of stuff, eugh. Had to go to the hall to scan in my documents, which in the end didn't scan so I had to wait another 20 minutes for the machines to work... least the staff were a friendly bunch. Americans here are nice. Weather sucks.

I was so bundled up in clothes. I had to wear long johns, pants, shirts, a pair of thermal pants (JON SIZE. Woot.) and a thick thick jacket. I had a snowcap on, my jacket's hood up, thick WINTERSPORTS gloves, the works. My jacket weighs 5 kilos, don't pray pray! BUt I had nothing to cover my face. So... 10 minutes of walking and hey, presto! You could perform plastic surgery on my face and I wouldn't feel a thing. My blood would freeze quick tho.

I had to take an English placement test, which had an essay and then listening and reading comprehension part. Essay: Fucked. Comprehension: Weakshauce. All in a day's work, I guess. I then had to *walk* to a place called Eigenmann Residence Hall... 15 minutes of walking, to get my picture taken for a new university ID card! Woohoo!

After that, again, I walked (what else) BACK to a hall not 2 minutes away from where I was EARLIER IN THE DAY. I had to listen to another lecture on what to do for the rest of the orientation week (lots of stuff, I told you). After that lecture, ANOTHER test... before starting school! What the hell! -_-... this time it was... dun dun dunnnnn... MATHS. Good game lah, I knew I wasn't going to make it. Sure enough, 10 questions into the 26 question paper, my mind went blank... numbers and graphs just turned into squiggles in front of my eyes.

I actually took my shoes off at one point while I sat down. My shoes have like no air circulation so all the sweat is just making my feet feel funny. I took off my shoes, put them down and watched in surprise and shock...

My shoes were smoking. Seriously.

Frikkin... STEAM was coming out of my shoes... what the hell? That is how cold the place was. Steam. From. My. Shoe. Wee!

And after that, I found some Malaysian friends from college, Raof and Athiya. A sight for sore eyes, we then planned to go shopping for stuff for our (Raof and I) dorms. They didn't supply pillows or sheets or blankets (for possibly hygienic reasons). My dorm is situated at one far end of the campus, so if I had to reach the other side... poor feet. So I walked to the place my dad was staying to dump all my shit (6-9 kgs of stuff in my backpack, lugged around while I walked the whole day). After that, walked to another Malaysian friend's house, Sarveen and Narvvin. Fun people.

Raof, Navvin and I took a cab to College Mall - a sad little mall by Malaysian standards; only 1 story! - to buy stuff at Target.

Christ the food here is expensive. One meal costs 10 bucks... USD. So if I ate three meals a day, I would have enough money to buy a freakin air-con back home in like a month. The thing is, I only eat one meal a day here... I don't know why. Maybe it's the cold? Hohoho. How the hell did Santa get fat then?

My trip to Indiana has been one fuckup after another. Seriously. My I-20 was corrected and sent twice. My visa needed more documents. My housing application was fucked up. My tests were screwed (ehh, that's okay). When I got here the place was cold - coldest day of the year, fucking hell what the fuck are the chances of that? My freaking laptop can't access Indiana University websites and I'm right beside their servers. My freaking dorm won't let me go online because I'm using Windows with Service Pack 2. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!? GIVE ME A BREAK!

Life sucks, deal with it. That's been a motto going on in my head since a long long time... but now, I'm feeling a liiiittle tired of this shit man. Just a teensy little bit. -_-